Ghosts in the Machines

You’re probably wondering how the Electrical Exorcism went. Ever since I moved back in here, the lights by the front door have been going on and off at random. Jamie the excitable electrician couldn’t figure out the problem. So we finally called in Kevin, the legendary Electrical Ghostbuster, to solve the problem. Jamie has told me many times (Jamie does tend to repeat himself. Often) how Frank Sinatra had a light that kept going on by itself, and Kevin was the only one who could find the culprit–a rechargeable razor. Every week or so, when Jamie had tried yet another futile solution for my lights, he’d tell me The Story of Frank Sinatra’s Razor. When all else had failed, it was time to call Kevin.

My assistant, Paula, was a few minutes late that day, which meant I had to let Jamie in. Jamie was even more excited than usual. “Kevin will find the problem! Kevin has an oscilloscope! I don’t have an oscilloscope because they cost six thousand dollars! Kevin will be here any moment! He always finds the problem. Because he has an oscilloscope! Did I tell you about Frank Sinatra’s razor?” I was in the other room when he spotted Kevin’s truck pulling in. “Oh, good! He’s wearing pants!” Since I didn’t want to know what that meant, I decided to let Paula handle things and hid in my office. Continue reading