Packing and Parking

We are just pilgrims, struggling on our paths through this world, seeking knowledge. Sometimes knowledge finds us.

Paula called me to tell me she had learned an important lesson. When taking your car to the car wash on Sepulveda, it is a good idea to remove all your drugs and guns from the trunk before turning it over to the attendant.

The reason she knows this is that the police had someone spread-eagled in the parking lot. No cars were being washed. She and the Basset were hiding in the office.

I figure it was a To-Do-List mistake. “Get car washed” should have come BEFORE “Pick up guns” and “Pick up drugs”. “Lunging for the guns when accosted by the police” should have been avoided entirely. Of course, it being LA, I would personally have been worried about the car wash guys stealing my valuable guns and drugs. Try putting THAT claim through your insurance company!

It reminds me of the time I parked my car on the street and went into the Von’s Grocery at Barrington & Wilshire. When I came out I noticed (keen observer that I am) a large number of cops hiding in the parking lot, guns drawn. I asked one of them what was going on. He explained that the bank across the lot was being held up.

I saw one cop taking cover behind my car. I asked his buddy to tell him that Land Rovers make MUCH better cover than Explorers. I said I guessed we were in for a long wait. “Oh, no,” he said, “We want you to just go out there and act normal so they won’t know we’re here.”

I said, “Step into the LINE OF FIRE???? I don’t think so!!!”

Of course, sometimes all you risk is embarrassment. Not long before the incident with the butcher at Gelson’s, I parked in their parking lot while I ran in for a few things. I had just picked up the Jaguar from the shop, and had Hennessy with me. I barely got into the store before a voice came over the speakers, “Attention, the owner of the green Jaguar…” Damn, I thought, I just got it out of the shop and someone banged into it. The voice continued, “Your Basset Hound would like for you to return to the vehicle.”

When I got out there, the car was surrounded by a small crowd. Usually Hennessy travels in the Explorer. Since she’s not a tallish dog, she’s mostly below window level. However, the back window of the Jaguar is like a little stage, and EVERYONE who walks by can see you! She was putting on quite the show. She’d lean waaay over to the left, point her nose up, and hooowl. Then lean waaay over to the right…. I worked my way through the crowd, muttering, “I was only in there for two minutes!”

My sister was in town a few days later. She asked me if we could go to that great grocery store in the Palisades. I had to say, “Not this week.”

Copyright 1997 by Jzine. Not to be reproduced or distributed without permission